Thursday, September 29, 2005

*takes a deep breath*

Ok. Here I go. It's been a while. It's been ... no, it hasn't really.. yes, I guess it has been close to 4 months since I've last posted. Can I get away with saying I've had writer's block? Carpel tunnel syndrome? The truth is, my life has veered in a different direction. I've replaced one addiction with another and I don't know if the two will mesh. I guess I'm going to find out.

Baby steps. Thank you Brian and Shannon Powers for wondering where I've been.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Cheaky Monkey

Gordon Ramsay

I admit it. I watched Hell's Kitchen last night on Fox. Say what you will, it was either that or the Miss Universe Pageant. I have an affinity for the Brits, one in particular, so I decided to check out the show with hopes that it would be more entertaining than watching Carson Kressley judge a beauty pageant. (She got his vote).

The premise of the show was that Gordon Ramsay, a three-star Michelin chef from the UK, says he can make anyone into a Master Chef. Well, this is quite a confident statement. Especially since during the introductions of the contestants, we see that only three of them have jobs in the culinary field. The rest of the lot have office jobs and there's one culinary student. In the end, the sole survivor will be rewarded with their very own restaurant. Hmmm.

After we met the contestants, it was time to meet Ramsay. He sauntered in and proceeded to taste the "signature dishes" prepared by the contestants - they had 45 minutes to come up with something to serve. His reactions were curt and condescending... they ranged from him calling someone's food 'dogshit,' to him flicking it off the plate at the poor participant, then spitting it out before chastizing them within an inch of their life. They hadn't seen nothin' yet.

The group was divided into two teams and for their first night of the competition, they would actually be running the kitchen on the opening night of the "restaurant" which was clearly (to my seasoned reality-tv-viewing eyes) a studio set. The patrons were obviously actors because in any real situation, I doubt people would be sitting around for 2 hours waiting for their appetizers. What was taking those appetizers so long? They were called shit among other things and then two lucky contestants got to wear the food they prepared. He made them start the whole table's food over if just one dish was not acceptable. I felt increasingly sorry for the poor people. He screamed at them and berated them to the point where I wished someone would just pick up a fork and stab him.

Remember those actors that were portraying restaurant patrons? Well, there was a table of 4 blonde LA-types. Subpar LA types, really. Well, two of them got up and went over to the kitchen to complain to Chef Ramsay about the time it was taking to get their appetizers. He promptly told them to shut the f**k up. They gasped, flicked their hair, and walked back over to their table... just like anyone would do, right? You'd still have dinner at a restaurant where the Chef cursed at you, right?? Sure you would. Then like 10 hours later, the other two blonde ladies got up to go complain to the chef about him insulting their friends who were complaining earlier. This was the best part of the whole show.
Blonde 1: You insulted our friend.
Blonde 2: Yeah.
Ramsay: I did?
Blondes: Yeah (pouting)
Blonde 1: You told her to shut the f**k up.
Ramsay: Oh.....Would you please go tell her that I meant it?
(to the maitre d'): Would you please escort these ladies back to plastic surgery.

Ok, maybe you had to be there, but honestly, it was lol funny. My question is, is he really like that? Like that big of an ass? I mean arse. Or is it amped up for TV??

Thursday, May 19, 2005

It's Friday and I'm Going to be on Vacation Next Week

First It's the Anti-Magnet Magnet, Now It's the Anti-Bracelet Bracelet

Who has one of these? Who has all of these? Who has more bracelets than the ones shown in the pic? Iwas given a pink one when I donated money to breast cancer research, which is a very good cause that hits close to home for me. And I actually considered getting a blue one after the presidential election.
Why do people always go overboard? Now a Austin, Texas based company is doing something about it. Are they just contributing to the madness?


Plastic Bracelet Sold to Raise Money for the Fight Against the Spread of Plastic Bracelets

An Austin, Texas-based non-profit organization founded last year to prevent the further spread of cause-based plastic bracelets, has announced it will begin selling a black plastic bracelet for $1 to raise money for its mission.

An End To The Bracelet Fad, Inc. (AETTBF) said it has sold 30,000 of the plastic bands to the bracelet-starved public in the first week it has made them available, tripling the organization’s bank account.

“Those Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG bracelets started this fad when they came out a year ago, and now they’re everywhere. It’s out of control,” said Daniel Vance, the executive director of AETTBF. “We have reports from all across the country of people young and old not being able to bend their arms because they have these stupid bracelets piled on top of each other from their wrists all the way up to their shoulders. It’s ridiculous. And outside of the yellow Lance Armstrong bracelets for cancer, no one even knows what any of the other colors mean.”

The AETTBF has compiled a 30-page brochure listing all of the 13,000 cause-based plastic bracelets that are currently on the market as a way to illustrate the absurdity of the fad.

“Here’s one – chartreuse bracelets mean the person is against paper cuts. Friggin’ paper cuts!” said Vance. “Indigo bracelets are for the fight against gingivitis. Mauve means the wearer is opposed to telephone calls by telemarketers between the hours of 5:00 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. Central Time. Pea green is for people who want to eradicate explosive diarrhea. Charcoal-colored bracelets support the push to make charcoal part of the periodic table of elements. And adobe yellow bands support the eradication of lead-based sunflowers from our elementary schools, which doesn’t even make sense. And that’s just a few of the more tame examples.”

While Vance acknowledges a certain hypocrisy in an organization created to prevent the spread of cause-based plastic bracelets selling a cause-based plastic bracelet, he said it was the only way for AETTBF to stay in business.

“Whether we like it or not, no one will support a non-profit organization these days if they don’t get some stupid plastic bracelet in exchange for doing so,” said Vance. “We needed to raise some money and this was all that will work. While maybe we can’t put an end to this fad altogether, at the very least we might be able to get people to only wear our black AETTBF bands. I suppose one colored bracelet on someone’s arm would be better than 50.”

Thursday, May 12, 2005

A Favor....

Vote For Me!!!

My cousin's cousin's baby is one of the 5 finalists in the Quizno's Baby spokesperson contest. Please click here to vote for Olivia. I just voted and she's in first place!!

Go Olivia! You cute little thing.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

They Say That This is What King Tut Looked Like

The Boy King, maybe. Posted by Hello

From The Houston Chronicle:

Three teams of scientists have created the first facial reconstructions of King Tutankhamun based on CT scans of his mummy. The images are strikingly similar both to each other and to ancient portraits of the boy pharaoh, including his depiction on the famed golden mask he wore into the crypt.
The teams — from France, the United States and Egypt — each built a model of the pharaoh's face based on some 1,700 high-resolution images from CT scans to reveal what he looked like the day he died nearly 3,300 years ago.

His eyeliner is fab.

I've seen some stories and posts today on the internet where critics are saying the skin shown in the reconstruction is too light and that King Tut was black.
He was buried with a donkey, he's my favorite honkey.

See here if you haven't heard that before.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Flash Movie of the Week

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me.

Are There Some Things Worth Getting Arrested For?

Raj Posted by Hello

Coulter Posted by Hello

MAY 5--Months after members of "Al Pieda" marred a campus speech by Ann Coulter, another appearance by the controversial conservative commentator has been disrupted by a protester. During a speech last night at the University of Texas in Austin, a 19-year-old UT student was busted after asking Coulter a lewd question, which he followed up with equally inappropriate hand gestures, according to the below police affidavit. The student, Ajai Raj, was arrested by campus police and hit with a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge. The police affidavit notes that Coulter's lecture was attended by "several children under the age of ten," which probably made them particularly sensitive when Raj queried Coulter about the sexual proclivities of certain right-leaning men. Raj is pictured at right in an Austin Police Department booking photo. (1 page)

from Posted by Hello
(click to enlarge)

If they'd have thrown cream pies again, the children in attendance might have enjoyed the event more.