Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Cheaky Monkey


Gordon Ramsay

I admit it. I watched Hell's Kitchen last night on Fox. Say what you will, it was either that or the Miss Universe Pageant. I have an affinity for the Brits, one in particular, so I decided to check out the show with hopes that it would be more entertaining than watching Carson Kressley judge a beauty pageant. (She got his vote).

The premise of the show was that Gordon Ramsay, a three-star Michelin chef from the UK, says he can make anyone into a Master Chef. Well, this is quite a confident statement. Especially since during the introductions of the contestants, we see that only three of them have jobs in the culinary field. The rest of the lot have office jobs and there's one culinary student. In the end, the sole survivor will be rewarded with their very own restaurant. Hmmm.

After we met the contestants, it was time to meet Ramsay. He sauntered in and proceeded to taste the "signature dishes" prepared by the contestants - they had 45 minutes to come up with something to serve. His reactions were curt and condescending... they ranged from him calling someone's food 'dogshit,' to him flicking it off the plate at the poor participant, then spitting it out before chastizing them within an inch of their life. They hadn't seen nothin' yet.

The group was divided into two teams and for their first night of the competition, they would actually be running the kitchen on the opening night of the "restaurant" which was clearly (to my seasoned reality-tv-viewing eyes) a studio set. The patrons were obviously actors because in any real situation, I doubt people would be sitting around for 2 hours waiting for their appetizers. What was taking those appetizers so long? They were called shit among other things and then two lucky contestants got to wear the food they prepared. He made them start the whole table's food over if just one dish was not acceptable. I felt increasingly sorry for the poor people. He screamed at them and berated them to the point where I wished someone would just pick up a fork and stab him.

Remember those actors that were portraying restaurant patrons? Well, there was a table of 4 blonde LA-types. Subpar LA types, really. Well, two of them got up and went over to the kitchen to complain to Chef Ramsay about the time it was taking to get their appetizers. He promptly told them to shut the f**k up. They gasped, flicked their hair, and walked back over to their table... just like anyone would do, right? You'd still have dinner at a restaurant where the Chef cursed at you, right?? Sure you would. Then like 10 hours later, the other two blonde ladies got up to go complain to the chef about him insulting their friends who were complaining earlier. This was the best part of the whole show.
Blonde 1: You insulted our friend.
Blonde 2: Yeah.
Ramsay: I did?
Blondes: Yeah (pouting)
Blonde 1: You told her to shut the f**k up.
Ramsay: Oh.....Would you please go tell her that I meant it?
(to the maitre d'): Would you please escort these ladies back to plastic surgery.

Ok, maybe you had to be there, but honestly, it was lol funny. My question is, is he really like that? Like that big of an ass? I mean arse. Or is it amped up for TV??

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